Why am I so annoyed?
Yes, I’m probably the most stubborn person you’ll meet, but I’m not going to take the blame for something that’s half your fault also. That just gets us no where fast.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
7.20.07
Call a parade!
...I made a decision for the first time in my life. Hurrah!
I just hope it was the right one.
...I made a decision for the first time in my life. Hurrah!
I just hope it was the right one.
Friday, July 13, 2007
7.13.07
Hello Friends.
Remember me? Kyla? No, not Kayla Mining, Kyla Minnig…yes, that’s right, the one who likes the cats! Very good.
I guess I might as well get into it.
I have nothing to say. And I HAVE had nothing to say since summer started, more or less. This happens, every single summer, like clockwork. Since I don’t see everyone every day of my life, I get into my head, and stay firmly planted there. Not like there’s anything interesting going on in my life that I need to constantly ponder, but I just…am being incredibly solitary. I’m trying to be more social this summer, really. Going to Circus School helped facilitate long conversations with Best Friend and Dark Hell Lord Krotodrid. We will be spared when werewolves take over the earth because we told him how to pronounce proprietorship. But anyways.
I laugh uproariously, nay, chuckle inwardly, at what a hypocrite I am. All day long I spew my thoughts and advice on to uninterested ears. Were I myself in my situation, erm, reread that, it’ll make sense on the second try, I would say something along the lines of:
Look at history, you moron! Because nothing has changed, that’s for sure. How is this acceptable? I don’t expect anything better from him, but I expected much more from you, you pushover.
And I would say:
But I believe in the good in people, sometimes you have to take a risk to get something you want.
And in return:
That? You want that? Are you an idiot? Ah yes, drunkenly screwing around with other girls, only to recount his stories of glory to you the next day, what girl wouldn’t want that? Silly me, to have forgotten those traits of Prince Charming.
But for a rebuttal:
Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes people need another chance to prove they can do things right.
…fighting ensues, etc. I am bipolar, but only when I want to be. Because that makes sense.
I cannot make up my mind, just like with every other situation that’s ever presented itself in my vacillating life. Thus, he will decide for us, and I will accept it willingly, even if I don’t believe it, because that’s what I get for never making up my mind.
I am a sorry excuse for a homo sapien, me thinks. And a waste of a brain. Perhaps I shall give it to a lab monkey.
This has been a post full of nonsense.
Coming full circle, I have started listening to acoustic music, in keeping with the whole “not talking” theme. It was amazing, I told Adam what I was looking for, and he provided! Perhaps he is the music god, but he’s still fussy like a baby, and quite tense.
Check out Andy McKee. You don’t actually have to watch, but at least listen!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ddn4MGaS3N4
Remember me? Kyla? No, not Kayla Mining, Kyla Minnig…yes, that’s right, the one who likes the cats! Very good.
I guess I might as well get into it.
I have nothing to say. And I HAVE had nothing to say since summer started, more or less. This happens, every single summer, like clockwork. Since I don’t see everyone every day of my life, I get into my head, and stay firmly planted there. Not like there’s anything interesting going on in my life that I need to constantly ponder, but I just…am being incredibly solitary. I’m trying to be more social this summer, really. Going to Circus School helped facilitate long conversations with Best Friend and Dark Hell Lord Krotodrid. We will be spared when werewolves take over the earth because we told him how to pronounce proprietorship. But anyways.
I laugh uproariously, nay, chuckle inwardly, at what a hypocrite I am. All day long I spew my thoughts and advice on to uninterested ears. Were I myself in my situation, erm, reread that, it’ll make sense on the second try, I would say something along the lines of:
Look at history, you moron! Because nothing has changed, that’s for sure. How is this acceptable? I don’t expect anything better from him, but I expected much more from you, you pushover.
And I would say:
But I believe in the good in people, sometimes you have to take a risk to get something you want.
And in return:
That? You want that? Are you an idiot? Ah yes, drunkenly screwing around with other girls, only to recount his stories of glory to you the next day, what girl wouldn’t want that? Silly me, to have forgotten those traits of Prince Charming.
But for a rebuttal:
Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes people need another chance to prove they can do things right.
…fighting ensues, etc. I am bipolar, but only when I want to be. Because that makes sense.
I cannot make up my mind, just like with every other situation that’s ever presented itself in my vacillating life. Thus, he will decide for us, and I will accept it willingly, even if I don’t believe it, because that’s what I get for never making up my mind.
I am a sorry excuse for a homo sapien, me thinks. And a waste of a brain. Perhaps I shall give it to a lab monkey.
This has been a post full of nonsense.
Coming full circle, I have started listening to acoustic music, in keeping with the whole “not talking” theme. It was amazing, I told Adam what I was looking for, and he provided! Perhaps he is the music god, but he’s still fussy like a baby, and quite tense.
Check out Andy McKee. You don’t actually have to watch, but at least listen!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ddn4MGaS3N4
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
7.4.07
Happy 231st Birthday, USA!
As per Adam sending me this song, I thought I'd post the lyrics. Very cool, if you ask me. Enjoy?
As per Adam sending me this song, I thought I'd post the lyrics. Very cool, if you ask me. Enjoy?
Artists > Cursive > Excerpts From Various Notes Strewn Around The Bedroom Of April Connolly
Excerpts from various notes strewn around the bedroom of April Connolly:"Why I should leave . . . no - why I'm leaving you for him. Well, let's see here . . . well, let's see: where should I begin? Every night you get annihilated with all your friends,and every night I drink alone until you stumble home wanting some - like some fuck and run. I know you sleep around, I see it in the eyes of those girls. Those fucking girls . . . they smile and nod, but never offer a single word - I'm just in the way - I'm the ball and chain, you're the jailbird chirping, 'How hard life is in the cage!' How hard it is waking up next to me. Well, you've dug this hole, come on and fill me up. When you said you loved me, I knew I was getting fucked. You said you'd never let go - all that stopped . . . you used to turn me on, now we're just getting off. That's why I am leaving you."
And the drunken, erratic response from April's ex-boyfriend Trevor Post upon finding said various notes:"You really, really think this guy is going to make it all right? You told me you could never be in love with another man, 'Oh but this one is it!' But I remember when we met, we knew that this was the end. Yeah I remember - I remember everything - The haircuts, the dollar movies. We used to sneak a six pack in your bag, and wait for a girl to scream or a car to crash so we could crack open our cans. Or the the time you shaved my head in the front yard; a passerby stopped to take a picture - we ended up in the paper. And now you want to leave? Well, maybe I forgot a couple things, it doesn't mean I don't remember how it feels when you're laying naked next to me. Valentine, I want to feel your hips pressed up against mine. We'll push into each other - love's alive. It might be fleeting, but it's ours and it's tonight . . . so won't you reconsider love-lost lives? You might be lonely, but I'm still by your side. You might have to leave, but not tonight."
Sunday, June 24, 2007
6.24.07
After quite some time, I return to this unfriendly template of a blog. Ironically, in this nationally recognized time of relaxation, I have been extremely busy.
But I will start with a quote from Jodi Picoult. Make fun of me at your discretion.
“Summertime, I think, is a collective unconscious. We all remember the notes that made up the song of the ice cream man; we all know what it feels like to brand our thighs on a playground slide that’s heated up like a knife in a fire; we all have lain on our backs with our eyes closed and our hearts beating across the surface of our lids, hoping that this day will stretch just a little longer than the last one, when in fact it’s all going in the other direction.”
However, Hannah and I are wasting our lives in Economics, aka Clown Class. Perks of Del Campo? It takes <5 minutes to get there, as opposed to the 30 minute commute to Rio. Downfalls of Del Campo? INEFFICIENT TEACHERS WHO MAKE UP FACTS. STUDENTS WHO CAN’T READ ALOUD. I can’t even begin to explain what a circus this class is, as it would end in my throwing the computer screen out the window. For more information, see Hannah or I’s notebooks full of quotes and list. Perhaps I am being a snob. Perhaps I have lived too privileged of a life, surrounded by Honors and AP students.
But, on to a more appropriate blogging topic. I am taken aback by the amount of people that go back to certain relationships, against all better judgment, advice from others, common sense, etc. I’m not just talking about the guy who broke your heart, but then you find yourself getting tangled in the same net that you know oh too well. I’m talking about the girl who goes all psycho-bitch on you, but yet you somehow find yourself talking to her again. The girl who told your deepest, darkest secret to the world, who you swore you’d never talk to again, showing up at your door to hang out. Is it because we’re too lazy to go out there and find a new person to replace them? We find it’s just easier to revert to the same person. Is there an unspoken plea when you restart communication? “Hey, this time, can you try not to hurt me this time?” or at least, “Could you maybe not hurt me as much?” We recognize it’s a problem, but prefer to turn the other way.
On a lighter note, we got a kitten and named it Kekoa. See picture below.
But I will start with a quote from Jodi Picoult. Make fun of me at your discretion.
“Summertime, I think, is a collective unconscious. We all remember the notes that made up the song of the ice cream man; we all know what it feels like to brand our thighs on a playground slide that’s heated up like a knife in a fire; we all have lain on our backs with our eyes closed and our hearts beating across the surface of our lids, hoping that this day will stretch just a little longer than the last one, when in fact it’s all going in the other direction.”
However, Hannah and I are wasting our lives in Economics, aka Clown Class. Perks of Del Campo? It takes <5 minutes to get there, as opposed to the 30 minute commute to Rio. Downfalls of Del Campo? INEFFICIENT TEACHERS WHO MAKE UP FACTS. STUDENTS WHO CAN’T READ ALOUD. I can’t even begin to explain what a circus this class is, as it would end in my throwing the computer screen out the window. For more information, see Hannah or I’s notebooks full of quotes and list. Perhaps I am being a snob. Perhaps I have lived too privileged of a life, surrounded by Honors and AP students.
But, on to a more appropriate blogging topic. I am taken aback by the amount of people that go back to certain relationships, against all better judgment, advice from others, common sense, etc. I’m not just talking about the guy who broke your heart, but then you find yourself getting tangled in the same net that you know oh too well. I’m talking about the girl who goes all psycho-bitch on you, but yet you somehow find yourself talking to her again. The girl who told your deepest, darkest secret to the world, who you swore you’d never talk to again, showing up at your door to hang out. Is it because we’re too lazy to go out there and find a new person to replace them? We find it’s just easier to revert to the same person. Is there an unspoken plea when you restart communication? “Hey, this time, can you try not to hurt me this time?” or at least, “Could you maybe not hurt me as much?” We recognize it’s a problem, but prefer to turn the other way.
On a lighter note, we got a kitten and named it Kekoa. See picture below.
Monday, May 28, 2007
4.28.07
Happy (?) Memorial Day, everyone. Tonight, a very uncreative blog. I will simply be posting quotes from The Tenth Circle. Various quotes that changed my life. Enjoy. :)
“The process of growing up was nothing more than figuring out what doors hadn’t yet been slammed in your face. For years, Trixie’s own parents had told her that she could be anything, have anything, do anything. That was why she’d been so eager to grow up – until she got to adolescence and hit a big, fat wall of reality. As it turned out, she couldn’t have anything she wanted. You didn’t get to be pretty or smart or popular just because you wanted it. You didn’t control your own destiny, you were too busy trying to fit in. Even now, as she stood here, there were a million parents setting their kids up for heartbreak.”
“Hope was a pathological part of puberty, like acne and surging hormones. You might sound cynical to the world, but that was just a defense mechanism, cover-up coating a zit, because it was too embarrassing to admit that in spite of al the bum deals you kept getting, you hadn’t completely given up.”
“She found herself studying him not in terms of who he was, but who he wasn’t.”
“When you fooled around without the feelings attached, it might not mean anything…but then again, neither did you. Trixie wondered if there was something wrong with her, for not being able to act cool and nonchalant, like none of this mattered anyways, is that really what guys wanted? Or was it just what the girls thought the guys wanted?”
“When she stood next to him, he smelled of rum and indecision.”
“She wondered if they knew that their patient was a husk, a shell left behind by a snail because home didn’t fit anymore. You’d think someone who’d been to medical school would be able to hear through a stethoscope that somebody was empty inside.”
“You see outfits like those in fashion magazines, outfits so revealing they bordered on porn. Women glanced at those photo spreads and wished they looked that way, men glanced at them and wished for women who looked that way, and the sad reality was that most of those girls were not women at all, but all girls.”
“You couldn’t have strength without weakness; you couldn’t have light without dark; you couldn’t have love without loss.”
“What was the point of being able to forgive, when deep down, you both had to admit you’d never forget?”
“The saddest day in the world will be the one when she stops pretending.”
“Teenage girls want guys to be attracted to them, but no one’s taught them how to deal with the emotions that come up with that stuff.”
“There was a fine line between love and hate, you heard that cliché all the time. But no one told you that the moment you crossed it would be the one you least expected. You’d fall in love and crack open a secret door to let your soul mate in. You just never expected such a closeness, one day, to feel like an intrusion.”
“Like Daniel, Jason had learned the hard way that we are never the people we think we are. We are the ones we pretend, with all our hearts, we can’t become.”
“Disaster was an avalanche, gathering speed with such acceleration that you worried more about getting out of its path, not finding the pebble at its center.”
“Maybe you had to scrape bottom before you could push your way back to the surface.”
“Relationships always sounded so physically painful. You fell in love, you broke a heart, you lost your head. Was it any wonder that people came through the experience with battle scars? The problem with a relationship – or maybe its strength – was that it spanned a distance, and you were never the same person you started out being.”
“He was like some kind of soap opera actor whose tragic story line you fell madly for: beautiful to look at, but all the same, you knew what you were seeing wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.”
“Because the more you changed, the less of you there was.”
“It was not a coincidence, Trixie thought, that no and know sounded the same. You were supposed to be able to say the magic word, and that was enough to make your wishes – or lack of them – crystal clear. But no one over said yes to make sex consensual. You took hints from body language, from the way two people came together. Why, then, didn’t a shake of the head or a hand pushing hard against a chest speak just as loudly? What did you have to actually say the word no for it to be rape?”
“There were some people who hit your life so hard, they left a stain on your future. She understood how you might spend your whole life waiting for that kind of man to come back.”
“It was no coincidence that fear could move a person to extremes, just as seamlessly as love. They were the conjoined twins of emotion: if you didn’t know what was at stake to lose, you had nothing to fight for.”
“The process of growing up was nothing more than figuring out what doors hadn’t yet been slammed in your face. For years, Trixie’s own parents had told her that she could be anything, have anything, do anything. That was why she’d been so eager to grow up – until she got to adolescence and hit a big, fat wall of reality. As it turned out, she couldn’t have anything she wanted. You didn’t get to be pretty or smart or popular just because you wanted it. You didn’t control your own destiny, you were too busy trying to fit in. Even now, as she stood here, there were a million parents setting their kids up for heartbreak.”
“Hope was a pathological part of puberty, like acne and surging hormones. You might sound cynical to the world, but that was just a defense mechanism, cover-up coating a zit, because it was too embarrassing to admit that in spite of al the bum deals you kept getting, you hadn’t completely given up.”
“She found herself studying him not in terms of who he was, but who he wasn’t.”
“When you fooled around without the feelings attached, it might not mean anything…but then again, neither did you. Trixie wondered if there was something wrong with her, for not being able to act cool and nonchalant, like none of this mattered anyways, is that really what guys wanted? Or was it just what the girls thought the guys wanted?”
“When she stood next to him, he smelled of rum and indecision.”
“She wondered if they knew that their patient was a husk, a shell left behind by a snail because home didn’t fit anymore. You’d think someone who’d been to medical school would be able to hear through a stethoscope that somebody was empty inside.”
“You see outfits like those in fashion magazines, outfits so revealing they bordered on porn. Women glanced at those photo spreads and wished they looked that way, men glanced at them and wished for women who looked that way, and the sad reality was that most of those girls were not women at all, but all girls.”
“You couldn’t have strength without weakness; you couldn’t have light without dark; you couldn’t have love without loss.”
“What was the point of being able to forgive, when deep down, you both had to admit you’d never forget?”
“The saddest day in the world will be the one when she stops pretending.”
“Teenage girls want guys to be attracted to them, but no one’s taught them how to deal with the emotions that come up with that stuff.”
“There was a fine line between love and hate, you heard that cliché all the time. But no one told you that the moment you crossed it would be the one you least expected. You’d fall in love and crack open a secret door to let your soul mate in. You just never expected such a closeness, one day, to feel like an intrusion.”
“Like Daniel, Jason had learned the hard way that we are never the people we think we are. We are the ones we pretend, with all our hearts, we can’t become.”
“Disaster was an avalanche, gathering speed with such acceleration that you worried more about getting out of its path, not finding the pebble at its center.”
“Maybe you had to scrape bottom before you could push your way back to the surface.”
“Relationships always sounded so physically painful. You fell in love, you broke a heart, you lost your head. Was it any wonder that people came through the experience with battle scars? The problem with a relationship – or maybe its strength – was that it spanned a distance, and you were never the same person you started out being.”
“He was like some kind of soap opera actor whose tragic story line you fell madly for: beautiful to look at, but all the same, you knew what you were seeing wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.”
“Because the more you changed, the less of you there was.”
“It was not a coincidence, Trixie thought, that no and know sounded the same. You were supposed to be able to say the magic word, and that was enough to make your wishes – or lack of them – crystal clear. But no one over said yes to make sex consensual. You took hints from body language, from the way two people came together. Why, then, didn’t a shake of the head or a hand pushing hard against a chest speak just as loudly? What did you have to actually say the word no for it to be rape?”
“There were some people who hit your life so hard, they left a stain on your future. She understood how you might spend your whole life waiting for that kind of man to come back.”
“It was no coincidence that fear could move a person to extremes, just as seamlessly as love. They were the conjoined twins of emotion: if you didn’t know what was at stake to lose, you had nothing to fight for.”
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