Well, I guess that's it.
See you in January 11, 2008!
Kyla Minnig
c/o Tahiti
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
12.20.07
So there we were. Sitting and talking for a half hour. Only I couldn’t talk. I mean, we were having a conversation, but I couldn’t speak. Every time there was a lull in the conversation, my heart would speed up. What if I blurted out what I was thinking to fill the silence? What would you say? Which, I guess, is the question that consumes my thoughts. I’m a coward, this I know, but I just can’t say it when I don’t know what the answer is. You’d call me a scaredy cat, just because you know I’d be amused that you called me a form of a cat. And then there’s that moment, because there’s always a moment, when it’s on the tip of my tongue, and you look at me, and I think you know what I’m going to say, I mean, I’m sure you do, because you know me about as well, if not better, than I know me, and maybe you’re egging me on because you don’t want to say anything either, but then we’re just in a big mess of unsaid confessions. Am I misreading? Maybe that look is a plea to not say something so that no current status is compromised. And it’s not like I can handle this like how I normally handle these things, that is, to jump you and then we figure out all the complications later until we’re going down in flames after a (possibly not-so) valiant attempt. How can I do this? I can’t! I’ll choke up and get weird and girly. I refuse to initiate with a tech-no-lo-gi-cal romance. It has to be done in person, but I can’t. And what happens after, if anything? I’m probably one of the most jealous and stubborn people you’ll ever meet. And that works fine for now, and you always think you can overlook some flaw or abnormality when it comes to initiating these things, but then 3 months into it, you can’t stand it anymore. And there goes that, because you can’t stand how she gives you the third degree when you go out with someone unfamiliar. Unfamiliarity poses a threat, don’t you know. And then of course, there’s the hug. And I’ll be honest. It’s not so great. And you know how much I enjoy analyzing and obsessing over these things. So there’s another bullet in the “you’re wrong, he doesn’t” column. And this isn’t a rebound, I assure you. But is it an intermission? I’m weak, and with some well rehearsed words, I could fall. At some point, we will all fall. And that’s not fair to anyone. But what can I do? Be immature and spread rumors? So maybe one will get back to you and you can wonder why I couldn’t act my age and say something to you? I guess I’ll just sit and freak out, only I can’t call you about it this time.
There’s nothing profound about this. I have no deep analysis of this situation. Just scattered, grammatically incorrect thoughts.
There’s nothing profound about this. I have no deep analysis of this situation. Just scattered, grammatically incorrect thoughts.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
12.16.07
....and from reviewing pictures from my trip spawns the obsession with going to UC San Diego.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
12.15.07
"But that is life. If nothing else,that's life, you know. It's real. Sometimes it fucking hurts. To be honest, it's sort of all we have."
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
12.5.07
Two posts in one day!
"My two philosophies are:
1. You're a dick.
2. When you realize I'm right, you're going to know you're a dick."
"My two philosophies are:
1. You're a dick.
2. When you realize I'm right, you're going to know you're a dick."
12.5.07
That’s funny.
I started reading A Long Way Down, one of my senior project books, which is about 4 people who meet each other on New Year’s Eve as they all are planning to commit suicide by jumping off a building, and I put on iTunes, because, why not? Was that even a sentence, seriously. Anyways, what song should come up other than Self Conclusion by The Spill Canvas, the first lines of which are “fade in, start the scene, enter beautiful girl, but things are not what they seem, as we stand at the edge of the world.”
Ironic! Or is it coincidental? I can never distinguish between the two.
The aforementioned need to leave has now been replaced by the need to smash someone’s head into a wall. That’s healthy.
I have a funny story. I’m sitting here, downloading the “David Gray’s Greatest Hits” for Paige, because she said she wanted it at Whole Foods, but is apparently a retard at the computer, and so now I’m laughing (ok that’s a lie, I’m slightly smiling) at what happened in Newspaper. So Nick and I finally scored a computer with speakers AND iTunes, I know, right, and so I brought a bunch of music (such as The Spill Gay-vas) and Nick brought some (with very provocative, yet melodic, opening lines, if I may say so myself) and now we have dulcet tunes streaming into our ears while writing an article about the search for a new softball coach. But Courtney likes my music better, sorry Nick. So I’m playing Babylon by David Gray, and Courtney loves it, so she puts it on repeat. Which is fine, I guess, but it gets kinda annoying after the 10th time. Nick is sitting on a different table studying for SAT’s and I’m lying down on that same table because my back is killing me, so that’s why the computer wasn’t being used, since I know that’s a vital part of the story. Ok so the bell rings and so I sit up and walk back over to our computer, and try to pause the song – it won’t pause. Like I literally can’t click into iTunes. So I’m a retard with Macs, so I call Nick over because maybe things don’t pause on Macs like they do on PC’s? So he tries. And it still won’t pause. So what can we do? We use the keyboard controls to mute the sound. Scene 2. Monday morning. Mahoney locked the door to the back room because he wanted to talk to us. After I start talking to Nick, I remember that we left that song on infinite loop. He says well, I guess we’ll see when we look at the play count. Blah blah blah. That’s Mahoney rambling. Scene 3, Back room. I look at the computer screen and iTunes is still up. I move the bar over to see … 1003 plays. Hahahaha. That my friends, is the definition of wasting energy.
Mahoney’s doodles make my day, honestly. That man is one of the most hilarious people I’ve ever met, whether it’s intentional or not.
It’s funny, because everywhere I turn, people are diving fearlessly into relationships, and I still can’t take off my scaredy-cat hat and join them. Insert 30 Rock quote about being lured to the edge of a pool with a puppy here. So I guess I’ll just keep looking for opportunities to hold your hand. And maybe you’ll get it. And maybe you won’t be as afraid as I am.
I started reading A Long Way Down, one of my senior project books, which is about 4 people who meet each other on New Year’s Eve as they all are planning to commit suicide by jumping off a building, and I put on iTunes, because, why not? Was that even a sentence, seriously. Anyways, what song should come up other than Self Conclusion by The Spill Canvas, the first lines of which are “fade in, start the scene, enter beautiful girl, but things are not what they seem, as we stand at the edge of the world.”
Ironic! Or is it coincidental? I can never distinguish between the two.
The aforementioned need to leave has now been replaced by the need to smash someone’s head into a wall. That’s healthy.
I have a funny story. I’m sitting here, downloading the “David Gray’s Greatest Hits” for Paige, because she said she wanted it at Whole Foods, but is apparently a retard at the computer, and so now I’m laughing (ok that’s a lie, I’m slightly smiling) at what happened in Newspaper. So Nick and I finally scored a computer with speakers AND iTunes, I know, right, and so I brought a bunch of music (such as The Spill Gay-vas) and Nick brought some (with very provocative, yet melodic, opening lines, if I may say so myself) and now we have dulcet tunes streaming into our ears while writing an article about the search for a new softball coach. But Courtney likes my music better, sorry Nick. So I’m playing Babylon by David Gray, and Courtney loves it, so she puts it on repeat. Which is fine, I guess, but it gets kinda annoying after the 10th time. Nick is sitting on a different table studying for SAT’s and I’m lying down on that same table because my back is killing me, so that’s why the computer wasn’t being used, since I know that’s a vital part of the story. Ok so the bell rings and so I sit up and walk back over to our computer, and try to pause the song – it won’t pause. Like I literally can’t click into iTunes. So I’m a retard with Macs, so I call Nick over because maybe things don’t pause on Macs like they do on PC’s? So he tries. And it still won’t pause. So what can we do? We use the keyboard controls to mute the sound. Scene 2. Monday morning. Mahoney locked the door to the back room because he wanted to talk to us. After I start talking to Nick, I remember that we left that song on infinite loop. He says well, I guess we’ll see when we look at the play count. Blah blah blah. That’s Mahoney rambling. Scene 3, Back room. I look at the computer screen and iTunes is still up. I move the bar over to see … 1003 plays. Hahahaha. That my friends, is the definition of wasting energy.
Mahoney’s doodles make my day, honestly. That man is one of the most hilarious people I’ve ever met, whether it’s intentional or not.
It’s funny, because everywhere I turn, people are diving fearlessly into relationships, and I still can’t take off my scaredy-cat hat and join them. Insert 30 Rock quote about being lured to the edge of a pool with a puppy here. So I guess I’ll just keep looking for opportunities to hold your hand. And maybe you’ll get it. And maybe you won’t be as afraid as I am.
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